Lee and Guy's Fantastic Conquest
by Maddog24
Summary: Sequel to Lee's Fantastic Discovery.  When Lee reports to Guy that he  learned a secret technique but can't remember it, Guy challenges him to a race  to see who can master this technique first. Lee/Ino, Guy/Tsunade and many  other characters involved.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the Naruto universe. **

**Note: This is the sequel to Lee's Fantastic Discovery. You can find it on my author page. While you will be able to understand this without reading the first story, I recommend reading both to receive the full experience.**

**Lee and Guy's Fantastic Conquest**

Prolog:

"Well Lee, being that neither I nor you have worked out this morning and neither of us remembers how to do this technique than I propose a challenge to you!" Guy told him with a smile crossing his face.

Lee's eyes lit up as Guy told him he would issue a challenge. "YES GUY SENSEI ANY CHALLNEGE I WILL ACCEPT!" he shouted in his excitement. Guy laughed as he got carried away himself.

"WELL LEE THIS CHALLENGE WILL BE A SIMPLE ONE!" He spoke than realized he was shouting. "I propose at challenge between you and me! Whichever one can master this secret art of intercourse first and do it most will win this challenge and we have 24 hours to do so! Are you up for this challenge Lee?" Guy asked him.

Lee nodded "Yes Guy Sensei I am!" he exclaimed. Guy flashed a nice guy pose with a thumb up and a brilliant flash of his teeth before he spoke. "Then we will begin right now" and with that Guy rushed off in a flash of dust to find the first person he could see.

"Oh.. OH YES GUY SENSEI!" Lee said as he started to run but realized he was not in his normal clothing. Lee quickly changed into his spare green jump suit and orange leg warmers before he ran off the other direction. Lee was determined to beat his sensei in this contest of intercourse.

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><p>Guy raced down the street in search of someone to teach him this new jutsu. He couldn't let Lee beat him in this contest. Looking down the street, his eyes lit up. Surely, if anyone could teach him this jutsu, it would be his rival. "Kakashi, my rival!" Guy said as he approached him from behind.<p>

Kakashi, dressed in the same thing he always is didn't even bother to look up from the Ichi Ichi story he was reading. Before he could even answer Guy, the large eye browed man spoke again. "Kakashi, you have been selected to teach me a new jutsu. I am sure you know as it is an ancient art but new to me!" Guy said with a laugh before he had begun.

Knowing how hard it was to teach Guy anything but also how determined he was to never let things go, Kakashi let out a groan and looked up from his book at Guy, closing the book as he did and slipping it back in his pocket. "What is it?" Kakashi asked.

Guy's eyes widened as he spoke. "Kakashi, do you know of intercourse?" He asked. Kakashi looked at guy and raised an eyebrow on his uncovered eye. "Are you actually asking me" but before he could finish his question, Guy interrupted him. "Kakashi I need you to show me intercourse! Will you teach me this art? I am ready to take in all that you have to offer!" Guy said looking directly into Kakashi eyes.

Failing to notice that they were right in front of the Hokage mansion or that Tsunade had walked out of the door they were directly in front of and could hear every word of the two men talking, Kakashi looked at Guy for a moment. He was really lost at what to say. Searching through his brain for an answer to this request, Kakashi could only think of one thing. "I'm sorry, I completely forget Guy but, I promised to help this little old lady walk her cat to the other side of the street. I am already late and it is way across town!" he told guy before turning and running as fast as he could away from Guy.

Guy called out to him. "Then maybe some other time" before turning and running into Shizune who was also in a hurry to meet Lady Tsunade. The two collided and Shizune fell to the ground dropping papers she needed to give to Tsunade. As she scurried to pick them up, Guy apologized for this, "I am sorry Shizune, I must be more careful" he said as he helped her up.

Shizune smiled and dusted herself off as Guy scratched his head for a second. "Shizune, do you happen to know intercourse? I am in need of someone that has experience in this art" Guy asked. She looked at him and her mouth opened from the question that he asked her. Her hand opened up and with a loud smack, she slapped Guy across his face. "Why do all the men in this village have to be perverts!" she said.

Guy who still had red marks on his cheek, didn't notice that Tsunade was now right behind him with her arms crossed. "I take that as you don't know intercourse" Guy said. Shizune scoffed and walked past him to Lady Tsunade.

With her out of the way, Guy rushed down the street in search of who could help him with this task. "Here are the papers I need you to look at Lady Tsunade" Shizune said to the Hokage. Tsunade looked at her after taking the papers. "Add a stop to the bar to our list of things to do today, after witnessing that I need a drink right away!" Tsunade said before turning and walking in the direction of the bar. Shizune followed closely behind.

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><p>Lee back at the home of his sensei had changed into his emergency clothes. He always keeps a clean fresh pair of back up clothing in case of an emergency and this situation called for an emergency. Lee felt much better out of that suit and was more like himself. After a quick shower, Lee was ready to take on this challenge. He raced out the door sure that Guy had probably had intercourse with half the village by now and he was way behind.<p>

"I must master this art before my Guy Sensei" Lee called out in his charge down the street. As he rounded the corner of a nearby building, he could see Temari eating a stick of dumplings and Shikamaru leaning against the building watching her.

Lee ran up to them, neither of them even finding it odd that he had been running. "Oh Lee, how was your date?" Temari asked with a smile after finishing her last dumpling. Before Lee could answer she added "I hear it went very well", that was followed by a snicker from Shikamaru who didn't actually know what she was talking about but found it funny none the less. His efforts for comedy only found a foot to the shin by Temari.

Lee smiled as Temari asked about his date. Something told him that it went great but he really couldn't remember a thing about what had happened. "Yes Temari, it did so really well and that is why I have a question for you" the energetic youth said to her.

Shikamaru again laughed as Temari tilted her head looking at Lee. She didn't know what kind of question he would have for her and from speaking with Ino this morning there wasn't much he needed to learn as far as dating goes. "Ask away" she said waiting for him to say something.

"Temari do you know of Intercourse?" he asked her bluntly. Shikamaru about choked when said that. "Or how about you Shikamaru do you?" he asked again very blunt with his speech. Temari looked at him for a moment as she thought to herself, that date must have went better than I thought and impressed that he wants to know more for next time. She smiled at him before answering him. "Yes, yes I do" she told him.

Lee's eyes lit up as she said she knew intercourse. "And you Shikamaru?" He asked looking directly at him. Shikamaru face turned a shade of pink as he thought of an answer. "Well, yes I know of it" he told him. He wasn't sure why Lee had asked him so with a confused look he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oh this is fantastic!" Lee shouted as he clapped his hands together. "Will you teach me intercourse Shikamaru?" Lee asked hoping that his friend would show him how this jutsu would work. Shikamaru again choked on his own saliva. "What!" he exclaimed before taking a breath. "I haven't done that myself so you are not going to be my first" he told Lee.

Temari, who had been trying her best not to let out a laugh finally couldn't hold it any longer and burst into an almost tear like state of laughter. That was until Lee turned to her. "Temari?" he was about to ask her the same question but she stopped him.

"Look Lee, I like you and all but I ain't teaching that one so I sure as hell ain't teaching you" she told him. Shikamaru frowned with a "what a drag" comment coming out of his mouth. Lee looked at her for a moment but wasn't going to give up that easy. He wanted to show his sensei that he was good at intercourse if not a master of the art.

"But Temari, if you know than you should teach us both at the same time! I am sure learning would be much quicker if you showed us both" he told her. Shikamaru coughed but changed his expression to more of a puppy dog look as he figured it was as good a chance as any to get Temari in the sack and even if it was troublesome with Lee around, it was better than nothing. "Yeah Temari teach us both this fabled art" Shikamaru pleaded.

Temari glared at Shikamaru when he said that and answered Lee while shaking her head but never taking her eyes off Shikamaru. "Been there, done that once, wasn't a fan, not gonna happen, not with you or him! Not here! Not now! Not ever! Case closed!" she said as she placed her thumb in her mouth real quick and giving it a bite.

Lee nodded "than I shall find someone who will teach me this ancient art" he told her and started to walk down the road. Temari wasn't even paying attention to him as she summoned her fan before Shikamaru and took hold of it. Lee didn't notice the loud smashes, breaking of objects, swearing and groans of pain mixed with what a drag comments as he hurried down the road to find someone else to help him.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer – I don't own any Naruto character from this great and vast Naruto-verse. Special thanks to Mischa Rowe and River of the sand for the reviews and I hope you each continue to enjoy this story.

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><p>Guy had been searching around for other ninja to help him find this lost jutsu or technique. He himself didn't know for sure what it was in general. The streets were surprisingly empty of shinobi and Guy wasn't sure where else to look. From behind him, he heard to bickering of a couple of his fellow Jonin next to the bar. Guy approached happy to have finally found someone who might be able to help him.<p>

Against the side of the bar leaned Asuma Sarutobi with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Standing before him with a cross look on her face was Kurenai Yūhi. Guy didn't hear what they were actually arguing about as he walked up to them. "Asuma and Kurenai, just the shinobi I am looking for" he said to them with a smile. They both rolled their eyes and turned slowly to look at Guy. Neither had a clue as to what he would want with them.

With a smile and a friendly, laugh Guy began. "Asuma, Kurenai, have you heard of intercourse?" Guy asked looking at them still with a smile on his face. Asuma just looked away not impressed with the jokes that Guy seemed to be doing. Kurenai on the other hand placed one hand on her belly and nodded "all too well Guy" she told him and shot a cross look in the direction of Asuma, who continued to look away even with the feeling of a hole being burning through him.

Guy still with a friendly stance and smile on his face looked at Asuma. "Then Asuma will you show me your intercourse technique?" Guy asked him. Asuma in amazement at what he had just been asked bit the cigarette he had in his mouth in half and spit it out on the ground. "No time for this I am late for a Shogi match with Shikamaru!" said Asuma as he attempted to walk away, only to be grabbed by the jacket, from Kurenai halted from his escape.

Guy then turned to Kurenai, "will you show me intercourse?" He asked. Kurenai stood looking at him not sure what to say or even think. Guy in the moment of silence added, "It seems you have put on a few pounds and could use a good work out to get back in ninja shape, what do you say?"

This time it was Asuma who grabbed Kurenai, who had turned red in the face and was about to approach Guy in an aggressive manner. Asuma spoke quickly "Not right now! You better go!" Guy nodded "okay maybe some other time" he said with a smile as he walked off. Neither of the three happened to notice that from the open bar window as Tsunade stood watching the whole thing and sighed. "Another round on me!" She called out as she turned her back to the window.

With Guy, gone Kurenai pushed Asuma against the wall. "Did he just call me fat or did you actually tell everyone my condition!" she asked angry. Asuma shook his head "no I swear I didn't tell anyone yet!" he told her. Kurenai made a face than added, "you better not have! So remind me next time I see Guy to kill him!" She then stormed off away from Asuma. Asuma pulled another Cigarette from his pack and put it in his mouth before hearing another shout, "I told you to quit!"

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><p>Lee turned in the direction of the Hyuga compound. He figured, if anyone could teach him a technique, it should be one of his greatest rival. Lee, who happened to frequent the Hyuga training facility with Neji, knew too well that at this time in the morning he would be finishing his training. Walking past the two Hyugas who stood guard Lee could see Neji with his shirt off wiping down his body after a long training session.<p>

The sun seemed to glimmer off the body of Neji as he wiped his tone body with a towel. His long dark hair swayed back and forth, as his hands made sure to wipe dry every inch of his body. As Lee approached, Neji turned to face him as he grabbed his shirt to slip it over his body. "Good morning Lee. You seem to have finished your morning exercise quicker than normal," Neji said before bending down and grabbing a water bottle from his bag.

Lee stopped right in front of Neji and shook his head "No, I am on a challenge from Guy Sensei and I was hoping you could help me" Lee told Neji. Neji took a long sip of his water bottle than squirted it on his face, shaking his hair for a moment before running his hand through the dark main to smooth it down first before looking at Lee again. "I will do my best, what is this challenge?" Neji asked as he tied his hair back.

Lee watched closely at what Neji was doing as he had seen him do this many times in the past. Lee could not help but think that every movement Neji made was like a dance or even poetry in motion and it inspired him to work harder at everything he did. "Thank you Neji, I must master an ancient jutsu and have done it more times than Guy sensei before this time tomorrow" Lee told him.

Neji slipped on his shirt and seemed quite interested in the jutsu that Lee had spoken of. Neji knew that Lee could not do any just any type of jutsu so this should be something Neji could get into himself. "What jutsu is it Lee?" Neji asked was as much excitement as a Hyuga could have.

Lee eyes widen as he began. "Neji, do you know of intercourse?" Lee asked him. Neji looked at him strangely, as he answered. "Yes Lee I believe most of us learn of this in the academy way before we graduate" he told him. Lee frowned, as he didn't seem to recall much about his days at the academy so this lost art was not as much of a wonder as it had been before.

Lee than blurted out his request, "Neji would you show me how intercourse is done? I can't seem to recall any of it," he said to his teammate. Neji put up his hand "Oh HELL NO! Lee you must have had tainted water today, just jog off this madness" he told him and turned to collect his bag, dismissing him at that point.

Lee hadn't even taken a sip of water so he didn't know what Neji was taking about but it was no surprise to him that Neji wished to keep the secret art of intercourse a secret as they were rivals and nobody wants to give a rival a secret like this. He was now even more excited to learn this art. As he was about to leave Hinata Hyuga walked into the courtyard to begin her training. Lee turned and walked up to her. "Hinata I have a request that I would like to see if you could help me with" Lee spoke as he walked in her direction.

Hinata was stretching and happened to be touching her toes as she heard Lee speak. Before she could say anything, Neji rushed in front of her and stood with his arms crossed. "No Lee, Hinata doesn't know and we plan on keeping it that way. Go now and I will see you tomorrow," Neji told him.

Lee nodded and rushed out of the Hyuga compound. He had failed to find anyone and the morning was close to being over. He knew he would never beat Guy Sensei at this rate. Hinata looked at Neji with a puzzled look before she asked "Neji what was it that he wanted to ask me?" Neji shook his head before answering, "You know those books your read late at night when you think nobody is looking? He wanted to ask you to do that," he said then walked away. A pink faced Hinata watched her cousin walk away before looking down and mumbling, "I like romance novels".


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – I don't own anyone from the Naruto universe.

Note: sorry I have not had a chapter up in the past two weeks. A hurricane and flood went through our town and destroyed it. I meant to do so but just got busy with everything but here is chapter 3 and will be back to the normal schedule soon.

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><p>Guy walked past the animal clinic and he could hear the snarling of dogs inside. This gave him an idea and so he turned and walked up the walkway to the building that contained the office of Hana Inuzuka. Hana, who wore a white lab coat but still had the markings on her face of her clan, was leaning against the counter listening to Shibi Aburame who was in the middle of a conversation with her.<p>

Guy strutted into the room. "Yes it is I the Green Beast of the leaf Might Guy" he said as he entered the room. After a quick laugh he added "and I have an opportunity for you" he said showing his teeth as he smiled.

Both Hana and Shibi looked at him but didn't say a word as neither was sure what kind of odd ball shenanigans Guy was about to tell them. Guy continued. "I am in need of you to teach me an ancient secret art known as Intercourse, do you know of it?" He asked and once again smiled.

Shibi's mouth dropped wide open but Hana who was the most laidback of any Inuzuka, took the question in stride. "Now how on earth do you propose that I teach you this?" she asked hoping that she wouldn't regret encouraging him.

Guy laughed again as he placed his hands on his hips. "Well, that is the problem, I don't know but I do hope you can teach me this technique!" he stated. Hana realized that this wasn't a joke after that statement and the temper that her clan holds was starting to come out as her teeth started to show.

At this very moment, Tsunade had walked into the office holding a scroll that she was going to give to Hana with details on a special training session that Hana was to run for medical nins who wished to get into veterinarian specialty. She looked at Guy who was speaking and shook her head.

Hana just pointed to the door and didn't say a word as she was trying to contain her temper and avoid any angry outburst that she could have. Guy didn't quite understand what the reason was for this but he could tell that she was not going to help him. "Well than some other time" he said as he turned and walked for the door. "Oh hello Lady Tsunade" he said as he passed the Hokage and made a dash down the street.

Tsunade scoffed and handed Hana the scroll. "Here take this I am going back to the bar!" she said as she walked out in a huff. As she walked out, Hana placed the scroll on the desk and started to open it. Shibi frowned "sometimes it's good to not be noticed," he stated.

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><p>Lee made his way past the Hyuga complex as he looked back at it. "One day Neji, I will defeat you and with this new technique I will prove to you that I am a splendid ninja" he said to himself than turned around and walked down the left side of the street. To his surprise, it wasn't long before he ran into Choji sitting by a Tree eating a bag of potato chips. "Oh Choji, I am glad to see you. I have a question to ask you!" Lee said as he walked up to Choji.<p>

"Sup?" the large boy asked, not even bothering to look up at Lee, he continued to eat his chips. Lee looked at Choji for a moment watching him much chip after chip at a fast rate. Lee than spoke, "Well Choji I am on a quest to learn a new technique and I was hoping that you knew of this secret technique" he stated boldly.

Between chomping on chips spoke "Yeah, maybe, what's it called?" he asked. Lee's eyes widened as the hope that he might learn this from Choji. "It is an ancient ninja art known as Intercourse. Do you know intercourse?" Lee asked him.

Choji didn't even miss a beat with his bag of chips. "Yeah, sort of, I had that speech with my dad. You know about how every single part of our bodies can grow and thicken," He told Lee. Lee was amazed at this. "Oh you must show me how this works!" Lee stated with conviction.

"Can't, it works different for everyone, I can only tell you what dad said, you will know how to use it when the time comes" Choji told him as he gobbled down another chip. "Oh, Very well" Lee said feeling disappointed that Choji didn't know how yet.

"Check with them, I am out of chips" Choji said pointing to Shino and Kiba who were training in the meadow just past them. Lee looked at them and started to rush in that direction. "Thank you Choji, I will do that now" he called back to him.

Lee rushed up to the three of them as Akamaru, was in the mix with his master and Shino. The three stopped and turned to see what Lee wanted. "Yes, Kiba and Shino, I have an important question to ask you" Lee stated.

"What is it were busy!" Kiba spoke sharply. Akamaru followed with a quick bark. Shino however just stood with his hands in his pocket looking at Lee. "Well, I was hoping that one of you would know of this technique I must learn" Lee told them.

Shino spoke first as Kiba really didn't care to deal with Lee at this moment. "What technique is it?" Shino asked with a more cheery voice as someone had actually asked for his advice. "Come on' Akamaru break time, let's get you a drink" Kiba said as he walked away from them. Akamaru followed with a loud bark.

Lee turned to Shino as he spoke "I am on a personal mission to learn this technique known as intercourse" he explained to Shino. Shino stood motionless for a moment taking in what Lee said before Lee interrupted his thought "do you know this technique?" he asked.

Shino looked directly at him as he spoke. "I have not yet been privileged enough to learn this but I know the insects that are within me have practiced that several times over. It helps them to grow and multiply, but unless you have bugs inside your skin I cannot help you." Shino told him. "Thank you that is fine, I will ask Kiba" Lee said and walked in the direction of where Kiba had gone. Shino just stood watching as he walked.

"Kiba, you may be able to help me; it seems Shino does not know" Lee stated walking up to him. "What is it?" Kiba asked. "This technique is known as Intercourse, do you know how it is done?" Lee asked Kiba.

Kiba looked blankly at Lee before he spoke. "Yes I know how to have sex!" Kiba said to Lee, who looked dumbfounded back at Kiba. "No I wanted Intercourse not sex. Do you know of this technique?" Lee asked. Kiba burst out laughing at what Lee was saying.

"If you will not show me, then maybe Akamaru will be able to show me." Lee said looking down at the very large dog. Akamaru whimpered at the request before Kiba called out "Fang over fang" and knocked Lee away. "That is too much! First, you want me to show you and now you ask my dog? Lee you better leave or I will make you regret you ever lived!" Kiba spoke harshly.

Lee dusted himself off as Kiba had spoken. "I am sorry Kiba but I cannot join you in a meeting of friendship with fists for I have a task I must complete first. When I have completed it than I will gladly take you up on this offer" Lee stated and turned to walk away. Kiba and Akamaru both growled, "Anytime you're ready!" Kiba called out than turned walking back up to where Shino had been standing. Akamaru barked and followed Kiba to return to training once more.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer – Once again I do not own anyone from the Naruto universe although it would be nice if I did.

Special thanks to both Mischa Rowe and river of the sand, two awesome writers who keep me motivated. Sorry this chapter was so short.

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><p>Guy made it down the street to the Dango shop. As he was walking by, Anko stepped out and almost ran into Guy. "Hey watch it!" she called out annoyed that she had almost dropped her dumplings. "Oh hey Anko, I didn't see you there. Yet now that we are together I wanted to ask you …" he started but she interrupted him "no ain't got the time!" Anko said and started to walk away.<p>

"Well let me finish" Guy called out as Anko kept walking. Slipping in behind Guy was Tsunade and Shizune who were arguing about drinking too much. Tsunade insisted that she had not had too much but Shizune begged to differ and insisted that some dango and maybe some tea would help her sober up.

Guy continued calling to Anko. "I just wish for you to teach me intercourse, if you know how that works!" Guy was very pleasant with his request and full of smiles. Anko turned hearing what he said and pulled the now empty stick out of her mouth. "For you? Never! This is not going to happen so get it out of your thick pea brained head" she told him tossing the stick so that it stuck in his extended thumb. She then walked away with a mean sounding laugh.

Guy called out in pain as he pulled the dango stick from his thumb. As he did that Iruka and Yamato walked around the corner, laughing together after some joke Iruka had said. Noticing them, Guy called out "Ah Iruka and Yamato may I have a word with you?" he asked.

The two stopped right next to the dango shop. "What is it Guy?" Iruka spoke in a kindhearted tone. Yamato just looked at him. "I am a little embarrassed to say this but I seem to have forgotten an art and I was wondering if you happened to know it and could teach this to me again" Guy asked in a low tone.

Iruka looked at Guy "Well it would be an honor to help you," he said. Yamato nodded as he spoke "if I can assist you I will do what I can" he assured him. Guy smiled once more. "That is fantastic, I will be fighting with the power of youth once more, so do any of you know of intercourse?" Guy asked.

Iruka's mouth dropped open at this and Yamato stood speechless in front of him. "D…d...did you just say?" Iruka stuttered. "That's right I asked if either of you could teach me intercourse" Guy spoke proudly. Yamato wanted to do the fear face but knew it wouldn't work on Guy like it does Naruto and so another plan needed to be made quick to get them away from Guy.

Iruka didn't know what to say all he could manage to do was stutter and stammer. He had taught class on sex education but he never thought in a million years he would be standing in front of Might Guy who was asking about sex. Finally, a plan had come into Yamato's mind. "Well Guy, we would love to teach this to you but the training takes hours and we are short on time. Maybe we can some other time. Sadly at the moment we are pressed for time and need to get back to the academy" He told Guy as he pulled Iruka away. With a chuckle, Guy smiled and a laugh as he spoke "Well you can't keep those kids waiting, the power of youth is our future so run and teach them well. I will find someone else," he told the two jonin as they rushed off. He himself walked off in the other direction.

Tsunade was standing in the building but right behind the thin wall and could hear the entire conversation, with not only Yamato and Iruka but she had also heard Anko and Guy talk. She was beside herself as she grabbed a stick of dumplings and finished them rather quickly. "Shizune! I am going to the bar and I will not be back for the rest of the day, you have the day off so DON'T find me till tomorrow!" Tsunade told her and stormed off in the direction of the bar.

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><p>Lee was starting to lose hope as he walked for over an hour looking for someone that could teach him this special technique but than a familiar voice called out to him. "Hey Bushy brow, wanna train with us?" Naruto called out. "I can always use some competition," he added. "What my weapons are not enough competition for you?" Tenten called out angry. "Well no, that's not what I mean" he said in defense. "Oh they are not! Try this!" she told him and tossed a large spiked ball at his head. Naruto managed to dodge. Lee watched this and laughed. "I would be careful Naruto, Tenten takes her weapons training very seriously," he warned. "I know!" Naruto cried dodging another series of weapons.<p>

Lee looked at them. "Well, I don't have time to train with you today. Guy Sensei gave me a special task so unless you know intercourse I must be on my way!" Lee told them.

Tenten missed most of the conversation only hearing special task. "Why doesn't Guy sensei ever send me on special tasks?" she wondered aloud. Naruto took advantage of this moment to relax now that she was distracted. "What is it you need to learn?" Naruto asked his friend.

"Naruto, do you happen to know about intercourse?" Lee asked him. Naruto stood folding his arms behind his neck. "Well sure I do, I learned a lot with purvey sage during my training and his research," Naruto told him. "This is wonderful news Naruto! I wish for you to be my partner and train me in the ways of intercourse!" Lee told him with a smile forming on his face as he went to embrace Naruto.

"WH.. WHAT!" Naruto called out in a panic as he covered his butt and fell to the ground in a sitting position. "NA NA NO WAY!" He called out in the same panic. "But Naruto you must, there is no other one better who can teach me!" Lee called. Naruto crawled away at a fast pace "NO WAY LEE I DON'T GO THAT WAY ST-STAY AWAY!" he called as he rushed out of the area as fast as he could do.

Both Lee and Tenten watched confused at what had just happened. "Great Lee you just chased off my training partner!" she told him annoyed. Hearing Tenten speak, Lee than, turned to her. "How about you Tenten, will you teach me intercourse?" he asked her. Tenten turned pink in the cheeks as her mouth opened wide. It set in what Lee was asking and that pink color turned to red and spread to her entire face. "LEE! How dare you ask me that! What kind of perverted thoughts are going through your head! I don't want to teach you anything and I don't even want to look at you!" Tenten said as she slapped him and stormed off in the other direction.

Lee rubbed his face as he watched her go. He didn't understand why nobody wanted to teach him a technique and he understood less, why everyone acted the way they were when he asked a simple question. He lowered his head and walked in the direction of the barbeque restaurant. "Maybe I can get lucky at Yakiniku Q" he said as he hoped to find someone that could help him there.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto or anyone from this universe.

Again thank you for your reviews and all your support. It is great to know people are reading and like this story.

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><p>Guy walked around the village but the day was starting to get late and most of the shops were shutting down. The night was soon going to come and he had not even begun training. He checked the jonin tower but it was empty. He checked the aviation tower and nobody was around. The library and the bookstore were empty of anyone that could help him. He knew the only place he had left to look was the bar.<p>

Walking up to the bar, Guy didn't have as much spring to his step as he had earlier. His chances of finding training were dim at best but he would never give up. He had to beat his student and show that he still had the power of youth. "You can't give up! You are Might Guy and the power of youth flows through your veins like a tiger in the jungle! RAWR!" After giving himself a little pep talk in his head, Guy felt better and walked in. Looking around the bar, he could see Shikaku Nara, Chōza Akimichi, and Inoichi Yamanaka sitting each with drinks in hand. He could tell that they were having a very good time if not too good of a time. Guy approached the three men and leaned between Choza and Inoichi. "Hey, Hey guys, how's it going? Would any of you three be able to help me with a technique I am having trouble mastering?" he asked them.

The three burst out laughing but gaining his composure, Inoichi spoke. "What technique do you need to learn?" he asked him. Guy smiled as he began his story, "I must learn the secret art of intercourse before this night is over, would either of the three of you happen to know this art?" he asked. Again, the three burst out laughing as Guy stood not understanding what they were finding so funny.

Choza took a big drink before he spoke "Well, I practiced that art last night! You gotta take advantage when the kids away" he joked as he elbowed Shikaku. Shikaku laughed and followed with a large swing of his own drink. "Yeah last night was a no go for me Shikamaru was home all night" he joked. Inoichi looked at Guy and could tell he wasn't joking. "So let me get this right, you need to learn intercourse tonight and you have never done it before?" he asked holding away a smirk.

Guy looked at the three of them before answering, "Well, I don't seem to remember if I have or not" he said. Choza laughed while Shikaku answered "Oh you would know if you did". Inoichi bit his lip to avoid a laugh. "Alright, Guy for you I will do you this favor!" Inoichi said as he looked around quickly and spotted a blonde-haired girl, who around the village, known as being a master of the oldest profession. Nodding to her, he added, "I will set you up with a master to teach you so go to the bathroom and fix your hair, give me ten minutes and meet a blond in the corner of the bar. She will teach you all you need to know," he told him. Guy eyes lit up with excitement as he bowed "I will do as you ask and thank you".

As Guy rushed off, Choza and Shikaku laughed even harder. Inoichi walked over to the girl he nodded and talked to her for a moment, handing her something and walked back to the group ordering another round. "You guys owe me for this!" he told them.

Guy was looking at his hair in the mirror and found that it looked as fantastic as ever. "Oh yeah, you look good!" he stated and made his way out of the bathroom. As he did, Temari walked into the bar and took a seat at the corner where the other blonde was going to sit. Neither of the three men paid any more attention to this as they had done their part of the job and were now back to joking and drinking.

As Guy walked up to Temari, he smiled showing off his brilliant teeth. "Well Temari, are you here to teach me?" he asked with the smile on his face growing larger. Temari groaned and looked at Guy "What is it?" she snapped. She had been spending this night alone, wanting to enjoy some time to herself for a change, without anyone being a puppy dog, and following her around. "Well, if you are the expert than it just be more of a sand technique I want to learn so let's get right to it!" he told her as he was ready to learn. As Temari was about to answer him, a large blond woman grabbed Guy by the back of the vest and dragged him out of the bar.

"Whoa! Lady Tsunade?" Guy said not sure why he was pulled from the bar before he could learn his technique. A half- drunk Tsunade spoke to him, "I have heard you all day and now if you just shut up I will show you what you're looking for now come on!" She then took hold his arm and partially dragged him back to the Hokage building. Watching from the corner of the bar, a man rushed out after them.

As Tsunade pulled Guy to her room, the man followed behind them and entered the building only to have the door closed just before he got there. Tsunade looked at Guy for a moment. "So you want to learn the secret art of intercourse do you? Well tonight you will learn a whole new meaning of dynamic entry" she told him and pushed him down on her bed.

"I don't understand, you will teach me this sacred of arts?" Guy asked her. Tsunade smiled slyly before she answered, "Only if you keep quiet and the lights are off," she told him. Just then, the door to the bedroom burst open. The white haired man known as Jiraiya entered the room in a huff.

Both Tsunade and Guy looked at him as he began to rant. "NOW JUST ONE MINUTE! I have been waiting all these years and you are just going to be with him of all people? No way missy! He ain't gonna drink my koolaid!" He shouted in protest as he started to walk over to Guy. Guy looked at him very confused. Before Jiraiya could take two steps, Tsunade backhanded him.

Jiraiya spun several times, trying to gain his balance, but was going too fast to be able to do so. Then it happened, he struck the wall face first and he could feel blood and maybe a missing tooth or even a broken nose, as he fell to the floor on his knees. He tried to move but wasn't able to do so and the night for him slowly turned black. "Now where were we?" Tsunade asked and reached for Guy.

* * *

><p>Lee made it over to the Barbecue place and could see that the line was very long. He thought it would be best not to take his chances in finding what he was looking for here. As he was about to leave, he caught the glimpse of Sakura standing with Sai. He marveled at how beautiful she was and could even see pink flowers bursting from her hair as she stood in line with her arms behind her back talking with Sai. Shaking off the illusion, Lee made his approach, hoping that the most beautiful girl in the world would show him this technique and make all his dreams come true.<p>

As Lee was walking up to Sai and Sakura, Ino had been getting all the gossip she could stand about Lee and how he was going around asking every girl for intercourse. She was now steaming mad and was sick of it. She had to put an end to this and fix him for the last time. Lee was going to see the wrath of Ino up close and personal.

"Sa-Sakura?" Lee said as he approached. Sakura turned and looked at Lee "What is it Lee?" she asked. She wasn't on a date so it was alright for Lee to come over but if it was a date she wouldn't want him to interfere. "Hello Sai, I wanted to ask if either of you would be able to help me master a technique" he asked. He was very nervous speaking with Sakura and he didn't feel as natural as he had all day.

Sakura looked at him, "Well Lee I can try to help you but can it wait till after we eat?" she asked. Sakura was hungry and training teamwork with Sai was hard as she was not used to him and it was different then with Sasuke and Naruto. Sai didn't speak he just looked at Lee and gave him a frail smile to show that he was welcome to speak. "I suppose It can" Lee said as he felt his last hope sinking away in the night like the sun had.

Sakura frowned than added, "What technique are you looking to learn?" she asked him, as she felt bad that he was searching so late for help and she knew he didn't know any techniques other than Taijutsu.

"Well, I was hoping that maybe you or Sai knew about a secret art known as intercourse and you could teach it to me." Lee told them. Sakura was taken back as she moved a step away, it hit her, what he had just asked her for.

Sai looked at Lee and his smile grew wider before he spoke his first words. "I have read many books on this topic. I believe that I can show you what you are looking for." Sai told him. Sakura at that point had become boiling man and needed to let off her steam.

"HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT YOU PERVERT!" Sakura said as she lifted her arm and pulled back her doubled up fist. Placing anger behind her attack she struck an unsuspecting Sai, who had moved slightly forward when he was talking. The fist connected with the cheek of Sai and the power behind it sent him into the air. He landed several feet behind Lee and with his face already swollen. Lee turned and watched him land, then turned again at hearing the words "CHA" called out.

Sakura pulled her arm back again but before she could let it go, a blonde girl came in and pulled Lee away. "I got this thanks" she called out to Sakura who now stood in the street stomping her feet and yelling. Ino pulled him down the street and around the corner. "What is a matter with you?" she asked angry.

Not sure, what she was talking about Lee looked at her blankly. "Why are you asking every girl in the village to have sex with you?" She question. He shook his head "I am not Ino" he told her. Ino shook her head and smirked as a devilish look came across her face. "Well I just saved your life from Sakura so you owe me! You're going to pay that back right now!" she told him pulling him in the direction of her house. Although unsure, Lee went willing to see what Ino had in store for him.


End file.
